An Ode to IPL Season 3

Danny Morrison: Oh! And that’s beautifully put away by Kohli; yet another six – and that brings the youngster’s total to 63 off just 38 balls… are we going to see young Kohli rescue the Challengers or is it far…

Lakshman Sivaramakrishnan (sulkily): Almost got the MRF balloon.

DM: What?

LS: The six. The ball almost hit the MRF balloon.

DM: AH YES! THE MRF Balloon! Shiv, Did You Know that MRF is the pioneer of Rubber Blimps in India?!

LS: What?! No! Really?!

DM: I kid you not. And did you know that Mamman Mapillai started the company that has become the leading manufacturer of rubber tyres in India with just a rubber tyre and a dead bandicoot?!

LS: You’re talking about the founder of Maxx Mobiles you idiot.

DM: What? Oh yes! Maxx mobiles of MAXX MOBILE TIMEOUT fame. I really feel compelled to buy an awesome Maxx Mobile every time there’s one of those.

(DM and LS sit silently moved by the awesomeness of Maxx Mobile Time Out while Balachandra Akhil executes a perfect pull that gets him his second DLF Maximum in the over)

DM: A Citi Moment of Success there! The total…

LS: Is Maxx spelt with a triple X?

DM: What?

LS: A triple X. Like Jamie Foxxx.

DM: HAHA! Shiv, you watch too much porn on the sly. Ha ha.

RAVI SHASTRI: HI GUYS! PLANT A TREE! PREVENT GLOBAL WARNING!

DM: Oo! Look! The MRF blimp is flashing! Ravi, stop shouting.  

LS:  WHO IS FLASHING WHAT?

DM: The lights on the MRF blimp, you perv.

(Silence. Kohli abuses T Suman and the leg umpire weeps in the corner. Ryan Harris runs in to bowl while images of Viru and Gauti giggling and fondling each other and a Karbonn Dual Sim phone are played on screens around the ground.)

RAVI SHASTRI: HI GUYS! DO YOU LIKE MY SEXY SUNGLASSES? I GOT THEM FROM CHEEKA WHO SHOUTS EVEN LOUDER THAN I DO.

CHEEKA: I SAY! CHENNAI SUPER KINGS ARE ONLY …  

DM: CSK isn’t playing today Cheeka. But while we’re on the subject of Chennai - CHENNAI is home to one of the best bowling academies in the world!! ….

DM, LS, RS, CHEEKA (joyful chorus): THE MRF PACE ACADEMY!

Harsha Bhogle: Hey guys. Has anyone seen my hair?

LS: Sunny stole it.